Encouraging Words & Phrases To Build Confidence (EXPERT)
© Judy Helm Wright aka “Auntie Artichoke”
Many times when we think about what we have said or done to other people we wish we could have a do-over. Most of us would never deliberately set out to hurt someone’s feelings, but it is easy to offend with words, phrases or non-verbal communication.
I want to share a story with you about why I am so driven to teach, guide and mentor parents, coaches, counselors, police, teachers and other adults who are in a position to work with young people.
Tell Me The Words To Say
I was teaching a parenting class one night at an elementary school. The subject was Kids,Chores & More
and I had just said “In discipline you want to be firm, consistent but kind.”
A nice looking man in the back of the room tentatively held up his hand and when I called on him said; “I hate it when you do-gooders come and say things like ‘be kind.’ What does that mean? To me being kind is hitting with an open hand rather than a closed fist. How can I say kind things when I have never heard them? You have to give me the words to say.”
I will always be grateful for the courage that young man had to share in a group what others in many parenting classes must have been thinking. It was a humbling turning point in my life and in my teaching.
Many arrogant (myself included) parent educators and counselors assume that because we know and experience the words and phrases that encourage positive behavior that everyone has that privilege. We assume that because we came from fairly emotionally healthy homes that others did too.
We wrongly assume that just hearing advice will change years of programing and belief systems. It takes practice to replace negative with positive. But like a garden in our minds and the minds of others, the more seeds of positive encouragement we plant, the more will be harvested. The positive and uplifting words will begin to grow and crowd out the negative information that has taken roots.
I Learned To Encourage and You Can Too
The more we plant positives, the easier it is to believe and affirm the good things we do, say and accomplish each day. Encouragement is simply given yourself or others the courage to keep going. It is like a gift of courage and an affirmation of self-worth.
Affirmation is simply a way of getting your sub-conscious to agree with what was said. Please claim your no-cost list of positive affirmations at http://www.askauntieartichoke.com and repeat them many times a day. The more you repeat and affirm, the more they become reality and a part of who and what you are.
There are certain phrases that are almost always the right thing to say and do. These are words, phrases and actions that communicate love and encouragement. These are examples we can use to build people up and increase their self-confidence.
In short, if there are positive words or actions that you would like to hear, it is a safe bet that they would encourage others, too.
Statements that encourage
- I’m lucky to know you
- You are a pleasure to be around
- Thanks for being you
- I’m glad you are my friend
- I think you are an amazing person
- I am glad you are in my (family, workplace, class, group, life)
- I thought about during the day and couldn’t stop smiling
- I like to sit by you
- You are comfortable to be around
- Glad you came today, I would have missed you
- I really like you
- You always seem to understand what people really need
- You make me look at life with more positive eyes
- Glad you came today
- Hey Mate, you’re a blooming genius (said with an Australian accent)
- You are a pleasure to work with
- I am really glad you are here today, I feel supported
- You mean the world to me
- You really tried hard
- You figured it out
- You’re on your way
- Looking good (accompanied by a high five)
- You’re a kind and thoughtful person
- You really seem to have empathy for others. How did you gain that quality?
- Your presence in my life means a lot to me
- I knew you could do it
- You are catching on.
- You are a problem solver
- You seem to think of solutions to problems others can’t see
- You have the ability to think outside the box
- What an imagination
- You brighten my day
- What a good listener. I really feel heard when I talk to you
- I trust you
- I have confidence in your ability to find a solution
- You have made a great discovery
- I respect you
- Will you forgive me
- I’m so happy for you
- That must be very difficult
- I am so proud of you
- I value your input
- You do nice work
- You really have an eye for color
- I appreciate the way you……………………….
- Tell me about your day, job, kids, hobbies,
- Tell me how you got your name
People Live Up To Expectations
Be sure and let us know how these simple tweaks to your conversations change the outcome of your relationships. You will be amazed when you see that if you have reasonable expectation and give encouragement along the way, others will be eager to be with you.
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