Hello from beautiful Montana:
I am a goal setter. I am a goal achiever. I am an action oriented person with leadership skills. I am a problem solver and go-getter and get-it-done type of person. I am the person given tasks, assignments and tough situations to solve or handle by family, friends and organizations, because I will solve and handle them. I make things look easy and that is unfair. It was frequently hard.
And I am tired.
Each year for the past 25 years, I have written a birthday letter to myself to assess where I have been (physically, emotionally and spiritually) in the past year, where I am right now and where I want to go in the coming year. It was a goal and because I am a goal setter I did it. Sometimes it was 4 pages long, sometimes it was 20 pages. Depends of what my goal was; a note, an essay or an epistle. I usually share it with Aries friends when we have our annual birthday party. We have also met for the past 25 years.
It was important to pass the wisdom I had learned to my children. I envisioned a book called "Transitions in a Woman's Life" which they eagerly turn to for guidance along their life journey. In my fantasy, they would read and remember how I overcame adversity, triumphed over evil, righted the wrongs of the world, fought for inclusion, broke the glass ceiling and finally fried an egg without breaking the yoke.
In reality, they each have their own life path and to them I am just "Mom" and so what do I know?
No More Goals
Sure I have accomplished a great deal in my life. I have written over 20 books and have thousands of friends on FaceBook, all while raising a large family and sustaining a good marriage, so I must be a winner. And I have the pictures on the wall and certificates in the drawer to prove it. So there!
And I am tired.
Too tired to enjoy relaxing walks with my husband. Too tired to take an entire afternoon to read a trashy novel instead of How-to books. Too tired to visit on the phone about day-to-day, little tidbits of joy like when to plant Sweet Peas and how delicious they smell. Too tired to go for tea with an old friend and know that it will take longer than an hour, and that it is okay.
To tired to have fun or relax! What a concept.Why would you want to set in the sun when you could plant a whole garden, write a book or organize a fund-raiser for 10,000? Jeeze, I mean really folks.
Whimsy Wishes Instead
A wish is a hope or desire for something. It requires no action plan or time line. No to-do list. It is not a conscious effort to achieve. It depends on nothing but happenstance or the way the world turns. If it happens, great. If not, oh well.
It costs nothing to wish. Goals, however, require sacrifices of time, talent and treasure. Sometimes I gave up too much of myself for other people's priorities.
In retrospect, some of the goals cost me too much. It is the old adage my mother tried to teach me about price versus value.(but what do Moms know, huh?) Sure, I could do it. But maybe I should have just slowed down and smelled the Sweet Peas.
So, No More Goals. Just Whimsy Wishes.
My wishes for the next year:
- A pair of black shoes that are comfortable
- A bra that is comfortable
- Someone to clean my house & balance the checkbook- I'm voting for assisted living
- More time spent outside instead of inside
- Sufficient money to buy what I want and share with others
- More hugs and less How-to-Books
- To find Cashmere sweaters at the thrift shop and wear them to bed
- To go to more pot luck suppers
- To invite more interesting people to dinner and serve left overs or soup
- To go out to breakfast more
- To dance on New Year's eve
- To say No and mean it and not feel guilty
- To find a spiritual guide
- To not take it personally when someone speaks to me with disrespect
- To give possessions away to someone who will enjoy them-no strings attached
- To use my intuition more and my mouth less
My very deepest wish is for you my friend:
I wish you happiness and joy. That you find the sweet spot of balance between goals and wishes. That you always know you are loved and appreciated.
Thank You for Being You.
Judy H. Wright
PS: Please make a list of your twenty wishes for your new year. I wish they come true for you.