Wow! I apologize for not writing lately– Holidays, a death in the family, deadlines on books and articles and on and on and on….. Not an excuse, just an explanation.
Today, I went to a local business networking session. I asked for help with a project on finding what pivotal event or person shifted the confidence level of the attendees.
Here is the rest of the story…
What was a pivotal point in your confidence
This was asked at a networking meeting of business
professionals. It was mixed audience of men and women with ages ranging from
early twenties to late seventies. People were given 3 by 5 cards and asked to
For me, it was a study in human nature.
Most were clearly uncomfortable and immediately pushed the
card aside or put it in a pocket. Their body language became closed and their
facial expressions were embarrassed and disapproving. It was very typical of
denial or inability to think of deep and raw parts of their hearts. Even though
we have been meeting for some time and feel a closeness and sense of
camaraderie, they only wanted to share surface chitchat and felt I had crossed
a line by asking for something more personal.
Some wanted to help me with my project and so were willing
to open their memories and share in order to make my job easier. It was a
struggle to look at their life, but they were willing to do so to benefit
someone else. Almost to a person, they told me thank you when they gave me the
A small number had
done at least some internal work and knew the therapeutic benefits of life
review. The things that were once
painful, no longer had the power to hurt.
They were able to see pivotal people and events with new eyes and
respect the life lessons learned.
A divorce. It was the best and worst thing that ever
happened to me. All my life someone else
told me what to do. All of a sudden I was free to do and think for myself. I
was scared to death, but then I found out how strong I was.
The first time I
held our new baby. Realized I could
never again be the selfish, self centered brat I used to be. I knew it was time to grow up and learn to
put her needs above my own.
When I was a
little kid, I couldn’t figure out how to read.
My dad kept calling me stupid and lazy.
One day a 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Hellaman, said; “Oh my mind
works the same way, but I have found some tricks. Would you like me to show you?” She taught me
to read and figure things out. For the
first time, I realized that it wasn’t that I was dumb, it was because I learned
in a different way. Everything I have
accomplished in life, I owe to that teacher who believed in me when no one
else, including me, did. Teachers are so
important to kids. They don’t realize
what an impact they have on self esteem and confidence.
Well, it isn't really the rest of the story because to read the rest, you will need to buy the book. I'll keep you posted and offer it at a special price for all of my loyal community.
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author