Parent Advice: 5 Ways to End Your Teens’ Behavior Problems

Imagine a scene where you ask your teen to pick up his clothes and he smiles and does it immediately.  Does that sound too far-fetched.  Maybe not, read on….

Every teen misbehaves at some point or another. From talking back and slamming doors to ditching class and using profanity. It’s normal for teens to want to feel independent, but it’s not acceptable for them to act out in a negative manner. Don’t go to the extreme, however — sending them off to boarding school isn’t the answer.

Here are 5 ways to correct your teens difficult behavior before their out-of-control antics becomes an even bigger problem and ruins your family:

• Listen Before You Talk

Now more than ever teens have the opportunity to make bad decisions: from violent video games, movies and TV shows. Teens and pre-teens are more exposed to profanity, violence and bad behaviors than in years passed. The basis for teaching values, compassion and empathy is best done while children are small.

It is our wish that parents are the number one influence on teens, but actually we come in third.  Media and peers are way above us as far as establishing guidelines.

Yes,  it’s a good idea to start teaching them right from wrong at an early age, but be aware that once they hit the teen years sometimes that advice goes out the window.

One of the best things you can do when your teen is acting out is to listen to them. Receive what they have to say, think or feel in a positive manner and resist the urge to judge or advise them. Your teen will be more open towards you in the future if you’re open to what he or she has to say, and you aren’t so criticizing.

• Don’t Let Your Teen Run the Ship

Don’t let your out-of-control teen take control of your entire family. Teens often take control of their home life because parents are afraid to assert power. Many are often afraid their authority could turn their teen towards a more rebellious attitude.

Remember this: you, the parents, control the home, not your teen. You’re responsible for making sure both your teen and your home are safe. Don’t be afraid to take some classes or talk to some counselors to gain control over the home again.

Ed Young’s book “Kid CEO How To Keep Your Children From Ruining Your Life” details the one fact that parents don’t want to admit: children take control of family units on a large scale. In Pastor Young’s book, he details the four crucial elements of successful parenting, helping you take back your home and help you deal with your child’s abnormal behavior. The elements are: knowledge, intimacy, discipline and structure.

• Encourage Positive Activities

At the first sign of trouble, encourage your teen to participate in after school activities. This can include sports teams like football, basketball, softball, cheer-leading, etc., or school clubs like the drama club, chorus, student government or crafting classes. You will want to check out my book on Building Self Confidence at http://amzn.to/kindlebyjudy

• Identify Causes Of Negative Behavior

If your teens behavior has drastically changed, identify the cause. More often than not, severe switches in personality don’t happen out of the blue: it’s a cause-and-effect situation, according to Dr. Phil. Being the parent, it’s your responsibility to find the root of the behavior change and help your teen change it.

• Be the Parent, Not Best Friends

Especially with teen girls, mothers will want to act like the best friend instead of the parent. By not parenting your daughter, you’re giving her free range to act out without consequences. Be sure to read the earlier post on Dads and Daughters To ensure the safety and well-being of your child, it’s your responsibility to dish out consequences when needed and, most importantly, to not act like the best friend.