Good Morning from beautiful Montana:

Boy, are we tired.  We returned late last night from working on a little house we own 90 miles from here.  It is a 100 year old house and we are repairing some parts, painting everything, installing a few items etc. etc. etc.

How many of us think that just a little more effort, money, time, paint will make it perfect?  We figure that we have already invested so much that we “might as well as…” and so we do more and spend more and keep working.  Most of the time it is way past the point of okay, into looking for perfection.

The reality is that the house is still going to be 100 years old and needing more and more. Most of the cars, houses, gardens and other projects  we have worked on are bottomless pits and you could be broke and dead by the time you do everything that needs to be done.

How You Approach A Problem

My husband of 44 years, Dwain is a fine camel hair brush, if you are going to do it, do it right type of guy and a Republican.  I, on the other hand, am a roller dripping with paint and it is good enough type of woman and a Democrat to boot.

He likes to do it all him self so he knows it is done correctly.  I like to hire people from the homeless shelter and hope that they stay long enough after a big lunch to wash out the brush and not paint the windows completely shut.

Compromise is The Name of The Game

We decided years ago that if we were going to do projects together, we needed to refrain from judging the perceived weaknesses and respect the strengths of each other.  So we allow only one raised eyebrow or hands in the air in the presence of the other person per hour.

We have stopped trying to convert the other one to our way of thinking and our method of painting.  We each just do our own thing and connect on the really important stuff like using blue cheese salad dressing and commitment to each other.

Enhance The Relationship

Just like most of the projects we undertake, our marriage and relationship is a work in progress.  It will never be finished.  This is the one project where we need to keep working at it day in and day out.

If the foundation of love and mutual respect is secure, then remodeling doesn’t have to be a constant argument. Politics, paint and projects are really just incidentals and not a major stumbling block.

Thanks for listening to my rant and if you would like to learn more about developing respectful relationships, check out   You can sign up for Free teleclasses and radio shows held each Thursday on some aspect of family relationships.  You will be glad you did and so will we.

Love, Judy H. Wright

Remodeling-Not Always Good For Relationships