Hello from beautiful Montana:
A friend, who is 61 and single, lost her job. It was not her fault, she is a terrific worker; loyal, intelligent, competent and always does more than her share at work.
It wasn't her bosses fault, they loved her and hoped she would stay in her job until the mortuary carried her off when she was 106.
It wasn't the fault of the clients who were nervous about making big purchases in a shaky economy.
We could go through the entire list of people up and down the food chain looking for someone to blame, but that would not help. It really wasn't anyone's fault. It just is.
Confusion Turns to Fear
As the days turned to weeks, and weeks to months she began to panic. Her mind started listening to the media reports and the negative self talk that was running non stop in her brain. Her self esteem was taking a beating by not only not being met with open arms, but being rejected without an interview.
She was confused. " How can this be? I am a good person. I am an excellent employee." She began to think of herself as a failure, a has-been, too old, unattractive, unable to learn etc.
Having Failed is Not Being A Failure
As her friends tried to tell her- don't take it personally. Yes, it is your mortgage that is late, but it is not because you are not a good person or won't make someone an excellent employee again. It is just a matter of time until just the right employee and job offer connects with her.
Two Phrases That Help Restore Confidence
1." Next time" When an interview goes badly, recognize what has happened–acknowledge the error if there is one- and then just shift your thoughts into what you will do next time that question comes up.
2. "Up Until Now" Overcoming negative thoughts and preconceived limits will help restore your strength and self esteem. Maybe you always saw yourself in the sales department, but perhaps now is the time to explore new areas. If you succeeded at one task, you can succeed in other ways.
Tough Times Makes Creative Solutions
People all over the world are shifting their thoughts from what was to what is. We are undergoing change in a global way. We can either stay in confusion or move into calm.
My friend is smart, funny and an asset to any organization. Why wouldn't someone want to have her as a valued employee? It just takes one person or organization to send her the paperwork or make the call that says; "Welcome aboard, you start on Monday."
If you or someone you love is struggling with confidence right now, please check out http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com We are coming out with a new book in the next few months and anyone who buys the eBook now, will automatically be sent the trade back book (soft cover as you would get in a book store) for free.
Good luck in your endeavors. I have confidence in you.
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author