Prepare For a Vacation! Yikes, it is too much work

Hello from beautiful Montana to all:

It is soon my husband Dwain's birthday and so we are taking a little trip to celebrate. We are going to Spokane, Seattle, Rain Forest, Victoria BC etc. and wherever else the fancy strikes us. It will be fun.

But, getting ready to go is not fun

Here is just a few of the things I have to do this morning.

Farm out the chores, animals, plants, mail, paper,lawn etc.

Wash clothes and shop, because Heaven help us if some stranger saw us in the same old jeans and tee shirt we wear around here.
Let neighbors, renters, family and the grocery clerk know we will be gone in case they miss us or care.
clean the fridge, because what if we got in an accident and a neighbor had to come in and look for phone numbers to contact people. (What is she doing in my fridge anyway….cross that one off)
Hide the jewelry in case some deranged thief, who is a cousin of the grocery clerk's ex-husband's sister's son who was cell mates with a bunch of juvinile deliquents who toliet papered the school, decides that anyone who has that neat of a trimmed yard obviously would have lots of diamonds. (Oh yeah, now I remember…..I forgot where I hid it last time we went somewhere. If we couldn't find the few little pieces that my grandmother left me, neither could a thief.)
Get the car a lube,oil and filter because who knows we may be somewhere they haven't hear of Jiffy Lube or Sears.
Pack at least twenty times more clothes, medication, swim suits and shoes than we will ever use.
Make reservations, schedules, alternative schedules and contingency plans.
Wean myself from the computer………………………..wow, that is a hard one. Will Twitter, FaceBook and you survive without me for a few days? You will! Darn.
Pack the car, then unpack the car to find the keys, then give hubby a dirty look because they were in my jacket pocket, but he is smirking…
Get in the car and leave.
Pull off the road at the first rest stop and take a nap.