Hello from beautiful Montana:
Do you have pictures in your mind of past experiences? Are they all pleasant and pleasing or do some of them make you sad, angry or resentful?
I collect art work based on the theme of mother and child. Some of my best ones have been found at yard sales or thrift shops. When I get them home, I see that the frame is damaged or the wrong color for where I want to place the art. So I make a decision to re-frame the picture. To look at it critically and in a new light and decide how it will be framed and matted to add to the overall scheme of things in my life. It also makes the art work truly mine, since I have chosen to make it better.
We Have Choices
Re-framing has to do with the process of consciously choosing how you remember the events in your past. You cannot make previous experiences go away. They did happen. They are a part of you and your history. If you were abused as a child and it is a horrible memory which makes you wary of relationships, you can't change the abuse but you can look at it in a different light.
You then have the ability to step back from the experience and look at it with mature eyes of love. You must be able to look at the past event and see what you can find that was right and good.
Can't Fix the Past But Can Change the Future
We are trained to look at what is wrong in life and try to fix it and so we have to choose to search out the good that is in the experience.
Virginia Dunstone, M.S. in her book Why Do I Do What I Do suggests these simple questions that if answered honestly about past experiences and memories can be life altering.
- Can I change what happened?
- What is right about this picture?
- What does this situation teach me?
- Who would I be without this experience?
- Who are the teachers in this memory?
- What did they teach me?
- How can I serve others with what I have experienced?
What is The Gift in The Experience
Just as the inexpensive art work found at yard sales becomes a valuable treasure when re-framed and put in the right context, so will your thoughts and memories. You will learn to look at situations and events from the past with new understanding and forgiveness for those who took a part in teaching you a life lesson.
I am Confident in Your Ability to Re-frame Your Thoughts and Memories
You are a good person and have many gifts to share with the world. It will be exciting to see those gifts with new frames.
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author