We teach people how to treat us by allowing them to step on our boundaries and hurt our feelings. This is an excellent article about the 4 steps to setting boundaries in a firm, kind voice that sends a message of how we want to be treated. For more information, please go to http://artichokepress.com which has a full listing of books, videos, e-learning and articles to enhance family relationships and build strong, resilient family members.
There are a wide variety of emotions that describe our needs, both met and unmet. By learning to name the upset and happy feelings, we are able to more easily communicate. It is also easier for others to help us find solutions. Being authentic with our emotions and needs is part of being a mature adult.