Burp! Belch! Other obnoxious sounds and smells come from your 12 year old son. You want to die of embarrassment at what people will think of your rude children. You have certainly tried to teach good manners, but were they even listening?
The problem with teaching tweens or teens manners is that parents frequently do it in a negative or critical way. It is especially embarrassing to the young person to be corrected or nagged at in public or in front of friends.
Model Good Manners At Home
A young person whose parents treat everyone with respect, kindness and understanding are more likely to use good manners. Rather than demand your daughter or son use good table manners, show them at home the correct way to hold a fork or pass the potatoes.
When you teach your child about rules of good manners in private and at a neutral (not heated with arguments or family fights) you will find the audience is more receptive.
Good table manners should be modeled at every meal. By establishing rules that govern polite interaction with others, you are teaching them to be aware of the feelings of those they associate with. Simply be saying, “The rule at the dinner table is to enjoy your food and chew slowly, rather than gulping it down.”
Say Thank You and I am Sorry When Necessary
Your child is more likely to be aware of the feelings of others if you praise the good manners and then gently teach to the errors or mistakes. When you encourage politeness, you are letting them know what the desired behavior is and it gives the positive reinforcement of the character traits, rather than specific tasks or situations.
If you are wrong, apologize. If someone is kind to you, say Thank you. You child will be much more likely to do what you do, rather than what you say.
It is no fun to have rude children and in order to teach good manners, we need to use the “teachable moments” when they come along. We want to be proud of the actions and intentions our children display in public and at home.
If you are having much more serious problems like lying, cheating, defiant kids or an out of control child, please go to a special website I have set up just for you. You will receive a ten day e-Course on transforming for no cost to you. You will be glad you did.
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and speaker