We have all had emotional wounding in our lives. Usually the negative beliefs about our capabilities, appearance or skills was given to us by someone in our early life experience. The hurt or criticism was typically handed out by a caregiver, parent or teacher. They may even have had the best of intentions and really loved us, but did not know how to express that love in a positive manner.
Reframe Past Hurts
Reframing is a process of consciously choosing the thoughts you have about your memories and experiences. You cannot make past events go away. What happened to you is real and is a part of who you are.
However, you have the power to control your future and the ability to have another look at what happened. In the worst of experiences, there was some good. You can choose to reflect on the life lesson learned in the experience and focus on that rather than the sad or traumatic emotional wounding that occurred.
It is as if you have been given a family portrait from your grandmother’s estate. You value the picture, but the frame does not go with your style of decorating. You simply re-frame the photo by putting a new frame around the old picture. It now fits who and what you are today.
Virginia Dunstone M.S. in her book Why Do I Do What I do? suggests we ask ourselves these questions about past hurts;
- Can I change what happened?
- What is right about this picture?
- What does the situation teach me?
- Who would I be without this experience?
- Who are the teachers in this memory?
- What did they teach me?
- How can I serve others with what I have experienced?
Past Hurts Can Heal
When we understand that what may have occurred in a vulnerable time in our belief forming years may no longer be relevant, if it ever was, it is easier to let the emotional wounding go. They may shape the adult we became.
Empowerment can come from overcoming emotional wounding and recognizing that we no longer need to carry that burden of hurt from the past. We can choose to see these wounds through the lens of a victim or change the perception by choosing to look at them through a new and better frame.
Look for Mentor or Teacher To Build Confidence
As you go through this journey of life you will need a mentor, guide or teacher who can assist you in putting new frames around old emotional wounding and past hurts. Please allow me to be that support system for you.
Claim your free MP3 recording and eBook http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com today. You will be glad you did.
with love and support,
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker
